By Lisa Scottoline
Do you remember Girls Gone Wild?
Well, at my house, Mother Nature is the girl.
And my wildlife is going wild.
We begin with the foxes.
You may know that a mother fox and her five kits moved into an old groundhog hole in my backyard.
They’re adorable!
All I do is film them all day long.
Next I’ll be making baby books for them.
But they grew up really fast and now they’re all running around like crazy, popping in and out of the den.
Last week I didn’t see them for a day and I worried they left for college.
Then they came back, all five kits, with backpacks and girlfriends and everything.
Now I have six foxes in my backyard, which they call home.
Like their den is right outside my den.
I was tempted to try to domesticate one because I read that they’re like dogs.
Hopefully they’re better than Eve/Evil.
Can you walk a fox?
But my friends talked me out of it. Everyone’s worried they’ll cause trouble, but it’s the squirrels causing the trouble.
Let me explain.
I own a Toyota Tundra, which is a wonderful truck in every way.
Unfortunately, squirrels like it, too
Because every year, no matter how much I use the truck, I open the door to find shredded paper all over the front seat. So I follow the pieces to the glove box and when I open it, it’s full of nuts, twigs, and pieces of what used to be the air filter that goes to the cab.
And I have to pay $700.00 to replace the air filter.
So this year, I moved the truck to a different location and hoped that the squirrels wouldn’t find it.
But they did, the next day.
I had an entire squirrel family nesting in the engine.
Honestly it’s nuts.
And it’s costing me money I’d squirreled away.
Between the fox den and the squirrel nest, my life is a children’s book.
Then I started to wonder why squirrels don’t eat the filters in my other cars, which are parked in the same place.
So I went online and got my answer.
Evidently, Toyota lines its air filters in the Tundra with soybean oil, and guess what?
Squirrels are vegan?
Who knew?
Everybody on the online message boards has different suggestions for ways to keep squirrels from eating the filters, like:
“Hit the recirc button.”
No. I’d have to find it first.
“Spray peppermint oil mixed with water.”
Sorry. Too woo-woo.
“Remove the wiper arms and cowling, then secure galvanized mesh over the intake gap.”
No. What?
The only mesh I care about is pelvic.
Me, I’m thinking of another solution.
Not bothering to replace the air filter in my cab.
I don’t know why I need an air filter in my cab.
I don’t know why I need filtered air anywhere.
What am I filtering out?
Certainly not squirrels.
I don’t use the truck often enough to catch whatever contagion is outside the cab.
I guess an air filter is like a mask for your car.
So I’m going commando.
It’s Nature’s way.
Copyright © Lisa Scottoline 2026